'You should feel ashamed of yourself'

'You should feel ashamed of yourself'

If you experienced toxic, dysfunctional, unloving or emotionally abusive parenting, then you were consistently made to feel ashamed. It therefore became part of your subconscious programming, and - even an as adult - your subconscious belief is that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

Perhaps you even heard things like, ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!’, or ‘Shame on you!’

The toxic shame stays buried within you, and it becomes a part of your identity.  

So, rather than seeing that you made a mistake, you believe you are a mistake.

You didn’t do something ‘bad’… you are innately bad.

You feel sorry and ashamed about who you are as a person.

Did you grow up with toxic, dysfunctional parenting as your ‘normal’?

Did you grow up with toxic, dysfunctional parenting as your ‘normal’?

If so, it can be hard for you to recognise.

Why?

In my own personal healing journey, and the work I do supporting clients on their journeys, I believe these factors are at play: awareness, denial and guilt.

Here are 25 examples of your mum or dad’s behaviours that are unhealthy, and actually emotional/psychological abuse…

Exercise to heal from a critical, judgemental parent

This is an easy but incredibly powerful exercise for you if you had a critical, judgemental parent.

Having had a strong, critical, harsh voice from your mum, dad or other caregivers growing up has significant impacts on your entire life.

Those experiences result in continuing challenges in your life as an adult. Things like…

  • People-pleasing

  • Being afraid to say no

  • Wanting to do everything for everyone

  • Anxiety

  • Issues sleeping

  • Depression

  • Lack of motivation

  • Underachieving

  • Sabotaging

  • Perfectionism, and so much more…

13 ways parental abuse is still affecting your life

13 ways parental abuse is still affecting your life

Are you aware of how past abuse is affecting your present life?

Those experiences may be negatively impacting your relationships, the decisions you make, the abundance you attract, your confidence, happiness and quality of life…

How many of these behaviours are true for you?

Is Mother's Day painful because of your relationship with your mum?

Is Mother's Day painful because of your relationship with your mum?

It’s time to stop seeking your mother’s love and approval, and to give yourself the love that your mum didn’t provide. It’s time to finally release all the pain and self-sabotage that’s been ruling your life. It’s time to be free of anguish, grief and lack of direction. It’s time to rise into your inherent power and own your true worth. It’s time you undertook the journey of recognition and recovery: of moving on, healing, and claiming your own self as the wonderful, vibrant woman you truly are.