'You should feel ashamed of yourself'

'You should feel ashamed of yourself'

If you experienced toxic, dysfunctional, unloving or emotionally abusive parenting, then you were consistently made to feel ashamed. It therefore became part of your subconscious programming, and - even an as adult - your subconscious belief is that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

Perhaps you even heard things like, ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!’, or ‘Shame on you!’

The toxic shame stays buried within you, and it becomes a part of your identity.  

So, rather than seeing that you made a mistake, you believe you are a mistake.

You didn’t do something ‘bad’… you are innately bad.

You feel sorry and ashamed about who you are as a person.

7 signs you’re a people-pleaser or pushover… and why

7 signs you’re a people-pleaser or pushover… and why

If you had parents who were critical, judgemental, neglectful, unloving… or parents who were emotionally unavailable or physically absent, your inner child feels rejected and abandoned. S/he believes that you must do everything you can to make people happy, or they might leave or stop caring for you.

If your parent’s love for you was conditional (that is, offered or withheld dependant on your behaviour or achievements)… your inner child is desperate to please others in order to win their love.

If you were punished or criticised for mistakes growing up, your inner child is anxious and afraid of disappointing people and letting them down. S/he feels they must make sure they are doing things right by everyone else, and that everybody is pleased with the job they are doing.

13 ways parental abuse is still affecting your life

13 ways parental abuse is still affecting your life

Are you aware of how past abuse is affecting your present life?

Those experiences may be negatively impacting your relationships, the decisions you make, the abundance you attract, your confidence, happiness and quality of life…

How many of these behaviours are true for you?